Firstly, my relationship outlook has completely changed. I always thought my relationships failed because I get bored too easily, which is completely true, but that explains why I'm so in love with Ian. He's everything I'll never have and as humans we're programed to want that. I've also realized I'm completely scared of commitment. Honestly, the thought of it freaks me out. I'm a flirt, and unless I like you a whole lot, then I'll probably get over you in a few hours.
Second, I've realized that there's absolutely no way I'm ever going to get to my goal weight while I'm living with my mother. No matter how much I try it's just not going to happen. This realization has changed the course of the remaining year at home. Since I can't get to my goal weight, my new "goal" is to maintain my weight until I can move out in a year. Then once I'm living on my own I'll finally be able to drop down to my goal weight and then get my hips pierced and get my tattoo.
But really, just myself as a whole I've become a different person than I was a year ago and it's exciting. I'm done waiting for people to see that I exist, I'm going to fucking make them notice me. And if you think I'm something now...just wait, this is only the beginning.
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