Monday, April 29

Pathetic.

I hate that I need the attention of the opposite sex in order to feel good about myself.
I hate that in order to get over somebody, I need to be all over someone else.
I hate that I put so much faith in every boy I meet.
I hate that the one guy who could be good for me is leaving for the Marines.
I hate that there's still one boy I can't let go.
I hate that I can't tell anyone anything.
I hate that I've become so distant from everyone.
I hate that I can't forget things said to me years ago.
I hate that I'm not good enough for anything or anyone.
I hate that I've let myself get this far gone.
I hate that I still think about suicide every fucking day.
I hate the thought that no one would care.
I hate to think that suicide is the only way to get anyone's attention.
I hate that I'm crying out and no one cares.
I hate that no one notices.
I hate that if someone does notice, they pretend they didn't see anything.
I hate that Xanax is my best friend.
I hate that Malibu reminds me of you.
I hate that I'm so pathetic.

I hate that I still love you.

2 comments:

  1. I honestly just feel so lost and overwhelmed sometimes and i feel like no one gets me. But then i ound your blog and theres something oddly comforting in the fact that someon else out there fells the same way. So, thanks, i guess. You really made me feel a lot better, even though im not sure why. I guess its because i dont feel so alone. Just know that even if other people dont, i understand the way you feel

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    Replies
    1. I'm sorry you're feeling down! I totally understand the whole similarity thing. It's good to know you're not alone some times. If you want to talk or anything I'm here for you :)

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