"My name is Abigail, and I couldn't make it."

This might just be the most vulnerable post I ever write. Consider that your warning.

To whoever's reading this,

I hope you're never feeling the way I do right now. I pray you never think the thoughts that consume my soul. I hope you can go through life feeling loved, and I hope you have more strength than I do. I'm losing the battle inside myself. I'm breaking much faster than I ever expected. I can't handle people knowing about my disorders, I don't want them knowing just how fucked up I am. I don't want to be remembered as anything other than the person I want to be. It scares me that I'm not alone in feeling this way. It scares me that regardless of my actions, tonight people will stop existing. Someone will leave this world one second too soon. One second before their life would be changed. One second before it would all be okay. One second before they know how it feels to truly be loved. Someone will give their pain to all those who cared about them. Someone will scar the hearts of people they've never met. Someone will read the final words of a loved one. Someone will find their loved one dead. What saddens me the most though, someone will go unnoticed. Someone will only be a statistic to add to awareness posters. Someone will have made their last mistake.

If Someone is you, just know I love you.