First day of the last semester

I can't believe graduation is in 5 months. Do you know what that means? That means in 5 months all my dreams are either going to come true or I'm going to fail completely. I haven't heard back from UT yet, my "Application is in review". And I haven't hit 900 hours yet (well, no one has actually...but I want to already). And today I find out if I failed my AP Calculus class. Weeeeee!

Even though all of these things are kind of major, I still have tons to focus on!
        Vocal solo: Contest is next month and I haven't practiced.
        SkillsUSA: Contest is next month and I haven't practiced.
        Prom: Eek! I hope I get to go this year.
        Graduation: I'm so excited I can't even express it.
        Powerlifting: I threw up this morning because I went too hard on too little fuel. (I haven't eaten in 52 hours, and I refused to eat when I got sent home.)

And yes, I realize that last one is all my fault but still. I was an idiot. I knew better but I still pushed myself and now my mom is forcing me to drop out. I should've eaten something at least...heck, I don't even drive on that low of energy, I don't know why I thought I was going to last all practice.

I haven't decided what I want to do next year, as far as food goes. I know I'm going to go vegan, which is something I've always wanted to do, and I was basically vegan for two years anyway so I'll be okay. But, I haven't decided if I'm going to try and recover before going into college...I kind of want to because I want to go work out all the time and lift weights and dance, but I don't because I've lasted this far and I'm honestly terrified to gain all the weight back...and I know muscles are smaller than fat when you measure them pound for pound but I don't want muscles. I just want to be tiny and perfect and I'm getting there.

I guess I'm a little glad there's still 5 months before I'm in the real world. I need that time to focus.