Cheater

It's not fair. You actually care about me, but I don't know if I like you.
It's not that easy either.
You're sweet,
nice,
complimentary,
special,
an artist...
Every thing I like.
But I still think about him.
All the time.
He's in my bones,
He's the cocaine in my mind.
He's rebellious,
He's a jerk,
He's a cheater,
He's anything but innocent.
He's still all I want.
He's everything I'm not.
I love him...
But he's not here.
And you are.
So what does that mean?

I don't want to lead you on if I have no real feelings for you.
See, I want to be with you, but really, I want to be with anyone solely because I can't be with him.
It's a need to fill the void.
I someone by me.
I need him by me.
Do I just settle for you?

Doesn't that sound so terrible?
Wouldn't that make you hate me?
Doesn't that make you sick?
Won't you give up on me?

I'll try to like you,
but I can't make any promises.
I know I'll always love him.
Maybe it'll have to be from a distance though.